I’m Kess Jones and after years of holding out for the celibate love-of-my-life to change his mind, I decided to take a lover.

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time, but the right subject never showed himself, and Lionel’s hold on me was still strong.  BUT, this July I drove back east and confronted Lionel, all the while texting my BFF “you have make me fuck someone when I get back.”  She replied “okay” but I knew she was shaking her head because I’m picky and find almost no one attractive.

Plus, I want to actually connect with someone before having sex with them.  The sex is better that way, but how do you connect without the whole ‘relationship’ thing coming up.  I don’t want a boyfriend, and I don’t want meaningless bar sex where an STD is more likely than an orgasm.

Two weeks after returning from the northeast Christoph surfaced. He’s a friend of a friend, in the middle of a divorce, lives hundreds of miles away in California, and was going back home at the end of the week.  Perfect.

I’m not looking for a boyfriend, just a lover.

I watched his fingers as he played the guitar, and thought if he can play me with that same attention to detail, I’ll be in heaven.

He was flirting with me, or so I thought, I’m so out of practice it was awkward at first. I doubted he was interested in  me….  maybe he’s just a super nice guy talking to – what he sees – as some old lady.  Maybe the idea of flirting was so far off of his radar it never even crossed his mind…. Ahh, insecurity.

On the way out of the door one evening he grabbed my arm  “Do you want to stay here tonight” he asked

I did want that; yes please.

His touch was fantastic, he whispered sweet things, he told me my ass was perfect – who doesn’t love to hear that? He was just what I needed except for one small problem………  this grown-ass man didn’t know where the clit was!

On our third and last night together, I begged him “Please touch my clit”

…. nothing changed.

After a while, and after I’d given up hope, he said “is that it?”

“Is that what?”

“Your clit”

I laughed.

I felt bad about it before the all air had left my lungs, but was he serious? He was about three inches south of the destination.

What a waste, an otherwise fabulous lover, clueless.

I desperately want to school him, but he wasn’t the best student.  Since that ship has sailed I’ll school everyone instead.  Making the world a calmer, happier place, one orgasm at a time. 😉

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